Charles Dickens’ book, “Great Expectations,” is one of my favorite books. Through the life of Pip, the reader experiences the lessons of having expectations of oneself and others.
Expectations come from those placed on us by others, from what we expect of others, or what we expect of ourselves. A parent raises a child with expectations of certain behaviors. An employer has certain job expectations from each employee.
Expectations become problematic when we only focus on how things “should” be and how the people around us “should” act and feel. When we place too many “should’s” on ourselves, we can become depressed and lose sight of who we truly are.
If we lived in a perfect world, expectations would only be for ourselves and based on our inner gifts and personalities. However, the world and people are not perfect.
I recently turned 80-years-old, and I unfairly expected my family to “surprise” me with a celebration. How very wrong and unfair that was. I was thinking of me, not them, not Covid, not the costs, and so forth.
Just like Pip, I had an important lesson to learn.
God taught me to appreciate the fact that I had metaphorically 80 candles on the cake; be grateful for each person in my life, and celebrate the love and well-being of each friend and family member.
As it turns out, I had a wonderful birthday celebrating it with friends one evening before the big day. I received birthday cards with personal messages that touched me deeply. Several of my gynecologic cancer sisters and their care partners surprised me at a luncheon with gifts, cards, a cake, and a birthday tiara placed on my head.
The best way to avoid having expectations of others and unfair ones for ourselves, is to focus on our dreams. Have goals, take the steps to achieve, while keeping our eyes on the dream. As so beautifully said:
KAREN INGALLS, AUTHOR, BLOGGER & SURVIVOR 
Happy belated birthday, dear Karen. You are always a beacon of Light, and this post is a beautiful reason why that is so. Thank you for being magnificently YOU. Warm Hugs. ✨ 💗 ✨
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Thank you, Gwen, for my birthday wishes and your kind and flattering words.
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Happy belated birthday, dear Karen. You are always a beacon of Light, and this post is a beautiful reason why that is so. Thank you for being magnificently YOU. ✨ 💗 ✨
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Happy Birthday, Karen. Welcome to the club. 💕
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I am grateful and joyful to be in this club of special people. Thank you for the birthday wishes.
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Happy Birthday, Karen. I turn 80 on the 22nd and don’t expect a thing. Kids all live far away, and I told them not to get on airplanes as I don’t trust COVID one bit.
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Welcome to the “80’s” club. We are a special group of people who celebrate their chronological age by living each day to its fullest.
You learned your lesson about expectations for a birthday sooner than I did! Wishing you a great day on the 22nd.
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Thank you, Karen. I did the same when I turned 70. 😁
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A beautiful post, Karen… 💞 HAPPY 80th! xo
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If I had had a birthday cake with 80 candles…WOW! The heat in the house would have gone up 20 degrees. Thank you, Bette, for the birthday wishes.
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I love your insight on our shoulds and how they take away life’s real joys. I’ve done that too and you are right it can lead down the depression road. I’m glad you got to celebrate with friends 🙂 Happy 80 years, Karen xo
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Life lessons are always around us and we can be better people if we choose to learn from them. I usually need the lesson presented to me more than one time. Thank you for the birthday wishes. Hard to believe I am 80 chronologically. I feel 50.
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What a beautiful post, Karen. There is a songwriter here in Texas, Ray Wylie Hubbard, and he says “the days I keep my gratitude high and expectations low are all good days.” Thank you for sharing!
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I love Mr. Hubbard’s lyrics. He sums it up perfectly. Thank you for sharing, Jan.
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